Check In

If I choose to actually follow through will all of this my eventual goal is to establish a schedule for writing, right now it's sporadic and unfocused.

This week my skin has felt wrong.  Everything is off.  My skin is not my skin.  It's been replaced by an out of focus picture transferred on to cheap fabric and then wrapped around my bones.  I don't like it.  It's making me question every little tiny talking point that flitters through my brain.

So what do I do.  Do I succumb to the melancholy, as I have many times before?  Or do I fight it?  Is fighting the only other option left to me?  I want to believe that this is a chance for deep thoughts and potential change but I also know that I have a propensity to wallow.  Some wallowing can be a good thing, giving you a chance to confront why you feel poorly, but this is only useful if change comes of it.  Tonight I have some an event to go to but I also need to clean and I would like to watch the Season 2 finale of Lost Girl.  Once I've accomplished those things I want to finally work on that action plan I've been talking about and post it.

But for now:

I feel...
fat
tired
like I'm leaking
brittle
loved
unloved
like I'm walking down the wrong path potentially
sad
bloated
full of lies
lucky to have so many friends
overscheduled
bricked up
over saturated
like I want to run
like my face says things and I want to know what they are
hopeful
funky

I am going to be ok.